I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
420 ftw
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
