Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
