found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You can't just leave with hair like that
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
