After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
