Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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