are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
