I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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