What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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