Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
