So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
