Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
