i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
