thus making me awesome and them whores
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
