I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
