She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
