i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
