i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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