they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
