youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You work out of a Hotel?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
