I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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