Having a random hookup so left but love u
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there is glitter all over my balls
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
