It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
