I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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