I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
