Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
