why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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