Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
