She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
