just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
