Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
