I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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