Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
