I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
