do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
