ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
