Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
