Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
