therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
