we're blogging at a bar
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
