so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize