are you still at the devil's house?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
