Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
