You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
