Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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