we're chasing vodka with high fives
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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