If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
