his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
