Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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