Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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