Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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