go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
