It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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