i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
