a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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