idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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