My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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