i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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