Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All the doctor said was why
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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